On making new beginnings
Three months have already passed since my last post? Time goes fast. What’s transpired since is that my life of leisure is currently on pause as I’ve become a working woman after a year of Millennial retirement. And, because living life in phases is ~my thing~, I’ve been settling into my new lifestyle, adapting to the new rhythms and finding the new in the old.
new job, who dis?
Let me tell you, reentering the 9-5 office world after a year of traveling and navel-gazing and complete freedom was not easy. But I was running dangerously low on savings so a job was crucial. Also, I wanted a gig that aligned with my long-term career goals. I’m all for leisure, but strategic and well thought-out leisure, as I’m fully aware of the importance of having a decent set of job experiences i.e. a sound resume to prepare for the future.
Easier said than done, my friends. I don’t know why I was deluded to think I’d find a job within weeks of sending our resumes. Ha! Not quite. I searched and searched for two months with very little traction before I landed my current position. And I was brought on as temp-to-hire. Fingers crossed I remain here long-term because I like what I do, the company I work for and my coworkers. And, the thought of job searching once more is terribly disheartening.
I’ll be entirely transparent: job hunting took a toll on my morale and self-esteem. Turns out some of my jitters and doubts about my post-Korea, post-travels adjustment to life in the US were not entirely unfounded. I can’t necessarily say I struggled in terms of finances because thankfully I had enough money saved but emotionally and mentally, there were multiple low moments of deep despair when I’d receive yet another job rejection without being considered for an interview. I kept wondering how friends and acquaintances I met in Korea had fared.
Thankfully, I started work in early March doing editing, writing, and event coordinating for a non-profit. It’s bizarre being back from my stint abroad in this capacity – living with my parents and working in the suburbs and reconnecting with old friendships I thought were no more. When I moved away to Chicago a decade ago, I never entertained returning to the small countryside town my family lives in and I so desperately wanted to get away from. But now that I’m here for an extended period of time, I feel like I’m discovering new layers I never perceived before. I’m enjoying this season, even if I never saw it coming or planned for it.
projects + insights
Creatively speaking, I’m experiencing a boom of sorts. I have ideas left and right. I think some are good while others are questionable. The ones that are certainly happening include my role as content manager for my best friend's eco company SAVRcup and an upcoming digital project parodying my leisurely living. Expect more details in the next few months. I also want to become a professional curator of experiences. How does one go about this? Send all the tips my way if you have answers!
On a personal note, I’m perennially trying to grow and become better. In that spirit, I’m trying to to be less reactive, less bitchy/moody and more considerate to everyone but especially to those closest to me. Not easy work, but I try! In the last few months, I’ve also been reminded of some of the negative narratives I tell myself and unnecessarily continue to reinforce. I’ve been thinking deeply about taking full ownership of my life. That I’m responsible for absolutely everything in it. That I’m not a victim of anything or anyone. That although I may not control external circumstances, I do have power over my interpretation (the meaning I ascribe, the narrative I create to make sense of any situation) and how I respond. I’ve also been reflecting on just how terribly afraid I’ve been in the past and held back due to fear. The weight of this inaction, of missed opportunities galore weighs heavy on me. Another acknowledgement and acceptance is that I’ve always been – and will probably always be – overly sentimental. You know, light Q1 meanderings~
For the most part I’m enjoying myself, my quiet and uneventful but productive life in suburbia filled with lots of family bonding. But like anything in life, there are downsides to suburb living. Dating is impossible. But then isn’t modern dating impossible anywhere, anyway? I crave a sense of community and collaboration. At times, I feel isolated with my creative pursuits and aspirations. I’d like more diversity, vibrancy and culture. Alas, life is full of trade-offs, isn’t it?
I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t already dreaming up the next long-term travel adventure. But I must exercise my patience as that will have to wait until 2020. For now, I’ll make do with a NYC trip to celebrate my 28th birthday at the end of May (I’ve definitely been feeling *intense* existential angst about leaving my precious 20s behind. Sigh). I’m also going to California in June for a work conference and staying after to vacation in LA.
In the meantime, I’ll continue to find my groove in the 9-5 working world until it’s time to begin afresh.